Thursday, April 29, 2010

Trollway




Thanks to the allmighty MACHINE FUCKING HEAD's legendary discussion board, The Fronlines, on their website, I had a very fortunate privilege to thurst my metal horns into this new great Norwegian band, formed in Oslo three years ago, including one member of the forum, Marius Skarsem Pedersen (guitars and vocals). Besides Marius aka Maggai, ASPHERIUM consists of drummer Bjorn Tøre Erlandsen (drums), who are also in death metal band ABNORMAL with Marius, by the way and worth to check out too, and bassist Torgeir Lyby Pettersen, who also does backing vocals.

Unlike the satanictastically tasty Finnish trio VORUM, introduced earlier here in my barn, ASPHERIUM doesn't rely solely their thunderstorm-like (death) metal compositions on old, school and classic 90's Swedish death metal. Instead, they take their heavy package to the other extreme side of the death 'n' metal world: progressive, moody, melodic and touching but still keeping things as they should be, dark, brutal, sinister, heavy and metal and doing it with four letters written in the back of their cod-stinking heads: E, P, I and C (which does not stand for Extremely Progressive Insane Cunt, you narrow-minded duck, just fucking epic. Got it?).

Anyway, fast-forward to the year 2009. The first demo, The Lingering Animosity, which is on heavy rotation in my barn at the moment, had just been recorded and then couple of months later, in September, a second guitarist, Morten Nielsen, was added to the line-up. Currently playing live gigs, ASPHERIUM is one of the most talented and innovative bands I've heard in ages, always giving something new to the listener. And just like their fellow country heroes EMPEROR and Swedish OPETH, ASPHERIUM does their music with high talent and potential to grow bigger and bigger by time. Yes, scandinavian metal music fucking rules!

When I first heard the track Dawn of Apocalypse Rising, I instantly wanted to buy their albums, EPs, singles and whatever they had been released. As many as there would be, it didn't matter, I had to have their music! But I found out that first of all they are still without a record deal and the only released album is hard-to-find promo-CD. What the Fabio! Like EVER CIRCLING WOLVES, also visited here in my metal barn earlier and still in demo plus live gig phase, definitely needs more and more support and more success, luck and attention from both metal music fans and media. They deserve it!

So, only one demo under their imagenary bullet pelts and church ash-smelling corpse paints, it is a shame that great bands like ASPHERIUM gets stuck and hidden behind total shit, bollock and garbage of other so called metal acts and MySpace horrors and nightmares. I'm not saying ASPHERIUM will be the next EMPEROR or OPETH or even continutation for Finnish INSOMNIUM, but give these guys a chance and be amazed, just like I was an still am. But for a teenager who has never heard of the bands mentioned above, ASPHERIUM just might become their very own OPETH and/or EMPEROR. If I trust these guy, you better trust 'em too! ...and give them all the support and credit they deserve. Just put your hooves and horns up, say MOOARGH! and enjoy.

While the guys themselves might be horrendous troll look-a-likes, cod-munching, church-burning, oil-abusing, slalom fuckers, their music fucking owns...and rips your, my and everybody's ugly turf! I'll give you now three reasons why:


1. Dawn of Apocalypse Rising

ZYKLON meets KEEP OF KALESSIN meets OPETH.

The opening track is the most brutal song on the promo. First minute and 36 seconds goes fast, really bursting out that Norway metal mayhem into your ears, and that's not the only fun part here. After the first part of the song, imagine a big horde of angry (and horny) bulls loping towards you, earth bouncing, you are afraid...and then those crazy behemoths brake in front of you just to listen to the great solo around 2:40 and those lovely double basses with you...smile on everybody's snout. Nice indeed. Fucking ace.





2. World on Fire

The second track shows the so called metalcore side of the band and introduces also some vocal lines made familiar by bands such as KILLSWITCH INGAGE and ALL THAT REMAINS, for example. This song, to be honest, is not the way I want this band to develope but the main thing that caught my attention is again the great guitar work and the ending that sets a big foot to the floor and crushes all, everyone and everything, that dares to come in front.

Like some of the songs in IN MOURNING's catalogy, this song has a lot of potential to be very very very good and exciting but some minor parts in it make it sound a bit too fluff, meaning it's too darn plain and it lacks that something extra ingredient to be more distinguishable. Good song, no doubt, but doesn't really set my world, or even my barn, on fire.





3. Blackpoint Millenium

Now here we go again cowboys and cowgirls!
Did I mentioned the word epic here already?
Yes, but not enough: E-FUCKING-PIC!

This is it, this is the song that defines ASPHERIUM. If all melodic death metal songs would be like this, I wouldn't have any troubles finding excellent music for my barn dances. Just listen to those growls in the intro part, reminds me a lot of NEUROSIS and ZATOKREV.

There's also acoustic parts, and structures and song parts made known by ENSLAVED's new songs. And now the clean vocals and harmonies sound something else than those emo-whining fag pussies. This song has the real emotion I look for. This song IS Norway at night time when you frolic down the fjords alone, only a moon as your companion. A song that stands for letters, E, P, I and C.

While there's a lot of examples to other bands (as always in my texts), they are only meant as a guiding lines. ASPEHRIUM stands already(!) firmly on their hairy(?) feet but you can clearly hear the influences and this final track shows the best parts of ASPHERIUM and how well the band twines different elements together and make them sound a big, massive song without trying too much or pushing it too far away from their own area, but still sounding hungry and wanting more and more. ...and cod damn those guitars! Awesome.





So, there you have it.
Take it or cry and take it.
It's Norway or the highway.
I won't you give you a second chance as a matter of fact, you WILL take it!

I really am on my trollway...


Good luck and all the best for these guys, trolls, or whatever beasts they even are.
Only cod knows...



















Monday, April 19, 2010

\m/ - Part 3





Want it or not (not that I would even ask anyway!), it is time to put out a sequel to Part 1 and Part 2 in the series of \m/ ie. fuck yeah! This time \m/ equels the best technical and brutal death metal act on the planet at the moment: NILE. Yes, that same American, now almost 20-year old, band that is named after the famous river in Egypt, Africa and making songs about those everyday manners and issues of single mothers' such as death, torture and Egyptian mythology with very informativily and highly detailed way, just like H. P. Lovecraft did in his epic books.

It was 1993 when these three, now in almost legend-worthy status, metal-addicted propel heads formed NILE: Karl Sanders (vocals/guitar/bass/keyboards), Chief Spires (bass/vocals) and Pete Hammoura (drums/vocals), who were formerly known as MORRIAH, a thrash band who never got signed, but who cares about that band anymore... Later on the line-up has changed several times, basically only in the drum section, but that is the one thing that separates NILE from others: quality drummers in every sinlge record. Even though Dallas Toler-Wade came to play guitars and bass plus do vocals in 2000, he was previously doing drumming for LECHEROUS NOCUTURNE, which is still active and highly recommended band for every death metal loving fanatic! But after Pete Hammoura, the drummer's stool was first replaced in Black Seed of Vengeance (2000) by Derek Roddy (of MALEVOLENT CREATION, HATE ETERNAL, DEBONING METHOD, INTERNECINE, DIVINE EMPIRE, COUNCIL OF THE FALLEN, which is now known as DEICIDE drummer Steve Asheim's band ORDER OF ENNEAD, AURORA BOREALIS and BLOTTED SCIENCE) then by Tony Laureano (ACHERON, ANGELCORPSE, ASTAROTH, GOD DETHRONED, INTERNECINE, MALEVOLENT CREATION, NIDINGR, 1349, who are releasing a new album, Demonoir, this spring by the way, AURORA BOREALIS, BELPHEGOR, BRUJERIA, DEVOLUTION, DIMMU BORGIR, EULOGY, NAPHOBIA, NACHTMYSTIUM, also releasing a new album this year, called Addicts: Black Meddle Pt. 2, SANCITIFICATION, but not the Swedish one though, THE BLACK DAHLIA MURDER, INSIDIOUS DISEASE and KULT OV AZAZEL) until 2004. Finally, now as a stable drummer and percussionist in the line-up, jumped in the river the Greek God George Kollias (of SICKENING HORROR, NIGHTFALL, THE CIRCLE OF ZAPHYAN, SYSTEM SHOCK, EXTREMITY OBSESSION and CEREBRUM). And what a drum God he is!

If that's not impressive enough for your high-standard taste, then their music will do the talking and simply prove all those names mentioned above are worth every expectation of the most top meaning of your pro and quality and awesome. Their songs are as crazy, epic, explosive, interesting, impressive, sick, stunning, taunting and wicked as their titles suggest. Just check out the songs Papyrus Containing the Spell to Preserve Its Possessor Against Attacks From He Who Is in the Water (from Ithyphallic released 2007):



and Chapter of Obeisance Before Giving Breath to the Inert One in the Presence of the Crescent Shaped Horns (from Annihilation of the Wicked released 2005):



and of course the self-explanatory titled Masturbating the War God (from Black Seeds of Vengeance relesed 2000):


Yes, yes and YES!!!
Oh yes my Ra!!!
Def-fucking-initely worth of every \m/ and a full fucking set of juicy, sweaty and bouncy udders.


Now,
Ingest
Limb-crushing
Epicness.


This is the band you should worship ...and write useless blog posts about. Jump in the waves of NILE and get wet.


















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Sunday, April 18, 2010

Scumtastic!




Finland's undeniably the best grindcore act ROTTEN SOUND has released a new udder-twitling EP, Napalm, to both support their forthcoming full-length, later this year (hooves crossed though), and also to pay a tribute to Godfathers, Pioneers and God knows what of grind metal, NAPALM DEATH.

Consisting of three new tracks (Mindkill, Dead Remains and Brainload) and three NAPALM DEATH covers (The Kill, Missing Link and Suffer the Children), this EP simply proves, once again, why ROTTEN SOUND still stands and rages firmly, and quite easily to be honest, in the same category as NASUM once did. But as it with their songs, I'll keep this text short, sharp and tight: just let these rapid shotgun-like tunes into your ears and enjoy the sounds of rotten death and napalm. It really doesn't get any more grindier than this!


Also, make sure to get your hooves on the actual copy of the album, since the artwork, and the package itself, is simply awesome! While the cover art is a fine tuned and updated version of NAPALM DEATH's debut, Scum, as another bonus you get full live set DVD from Obscene Extreme festival 2007. What else could you ask for?

Yes, that's what I thought too.


So, grind those horns of yours, get them fired up like no tomorrow and dance with a smile on your meaty muzzle, my cowboys and cowgirls...from Hell.

















Saturday, April 17, 2010

N.I.B. - Nativity in Barn





You know, there are tribute albums and then there are Tribute albums...to BLACK SABBATH! If there's one (or two) albums that you should get, when it comes to paying a tribute to any artist, band or whatever it is that takes to present music, songs and other noise acts and syndromes, it is these two tribute albums released 1994 and 2000, called Nativity in Black - A Tribute to Black Sabbath and Nativity in Black II - A Tribute to Black Sabbath.

Why, you ask.

Shut up, I reply, and tell you to check out two reasons why, both being the tracklists of those albums mentioned:

Reason I:
1. BIOHAZARD: After Forever
2. WHITE ZOMBIE: Children of the Grave
3. MEGADETH: Paranoid
4. 1,000 HOMO DJ's: Supernaut
5. OZZY OSBOURNE w/THERAPY?: Iron Man
6. CORROSION OF CONFORMITY: Lord of This World
7. SEPULTURA: Symptom of the Universe
8. BULLRING BRUMMIES: The Wizard
9. BRUCE DICKINSON w/GODSPEED: Sabbath Bloody Sabbath
10. UGLY KID JOE: N.I.B.
11. FAITH NO MORE: War Pigs (live)
12. TYPE O NEGATIVE: Black Sabbath
13. CATHEDRAL: Solitude (bonustrack)

Reason II:
1. GODSMACK: Sweet Leaf
2. MACHINE HEAD: Hole in the Sky
3. STATIC-X: Behind the Wall of Sleep
4. MEGADETH: Never Say Die
5. SYSTEM OF A DOWN: Snowblind
6. PANTERA: Electric Funeral
7. PRIMUS w/OZZY: N.I.B.
8. SLAYER: Hand of Doom
9. SOULFLY: Under the Sun
10. HED(PE): Sabbra Cadabra
11. MONSTER MAGNET: Into the Void
12. BUSTA RHYMES: Iron Man (This Means War)


Do I need to say more?
Yeah, that's what I thought too.














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Monday, April 05, 2010

Demicod





Time for a well-hidden gem (for most of the readers anyway) and all who know me (yes, I know, I know...and I DO feel sorry for them), I've tried at least one occasion or another stuff this band and album in their hands, ears, toes or crotch one way or another. It is one of those albums that should be in every metal-loving bastards record collection without any excuses.






The year was 2005 when I met this cod-stinking five-piece from Kongsvinger, Norway. I gotta say that year was pretty good regarding finding new music and bands such as FRANTIC BLEEP. In similar manner like their black metal and avantgarde fansy pantsy metallers EMPEROR (just listen to those Ihsahn-like screams), ARCTURUS (variable song structures), SOLEFALD (pure black metal annihilation) and VED BUENS ENDE (exploration to the max), FRANTIC BLEEP offers challenging and inspiring but very fluent and mature metal music to anyone who is ready to give them more time than 2 minutes and 30 seconds.






Words experimental and prgoressive are taken to another level but not in that shitty jazzy way, where everything sounds like a fucking messy twister without a plot and a big smelly washing machine full of distrubing senseless noises. This is different, this is enjoyable. Could I say creativelly unique black and experimental proge metal that should also appeal to fans of CYNIC, GOJIRA, MESHUGGAH, OBSCURA, OPETH and VOIVOD.





Each track of the album is worth to listen to and that's one reason alone to say The Sense Apparatus was the best debut album of the year 2005! Just listen to Sins of Omission or Mandaugher and be amazed like you were hit by a cod in your face, twice.

There's something for everybody: pop music lovers, Mike Patton razzmatazzers, TOOL's atmosphere adoreers, trve evil black metallers, avant garde weirdos, proge masturbators and brutal headbangers. But this album still stays a firm example of not over-doing anything. And that's the magic of this Norwegian group of locos that needs to be heard by more and more average (metal) music consumers.

Now it's your time to get to know this band as well as I. Do it all you will regret. Only one demo released, Fluctuadmission, in 2002 and one album in 2005, it's pretty obvious that we need another one. And I am still wondering, how on earth this album, band so young, and yet so talented didn't get anymore fans and attention back then?

I am astonished by all things considering this magnificent band of Norsk trolls.
Join me.










\m/ - Part 2


Part 1 was bloody good but come here again my little fly-fearing furry friend of Finntasticness and follow the
fun:

Full-lengths, The Morning Never Came (2003), Ghosts of Loss (2005), Hope (2007) and New Moon (2009),
EP, Plague of Butterflies (2008) and singles Forgive Her... (2005) and Don't Fall Asleep (2007), they all are here, for you.


Love, hope and faith, forget them.
Swallow these masterpieces of death, grief, loss and despair.

Get them.
Now!














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Moorning Beloveth




You hardly see a cow shedding a tear, do you? But there are occasions when especially this hay-munching poor bastard fatass needs to go to a dark corner and weep desperately. When that time arrives, MOURNING BELOVETH is my company in misery. Just like their fellow islanders, legendary British MY DYING BRIDE and PRIMORDIAL, these Irish furry men create soundscapes of anguish, despair, loneliness, tragic scenes and harmony of majestic epicness.

Often described as a b-side act of doom metal, but make no mistake about when I lay down some facts for you right now, right here: albums such as utterly fantastic debut Dust and its followers, The Sullen Sulcus and A Disease for the Ages, are prime examples of this genre's finest creations. Melancholic doom metal in its best form, MOURNING BELOVETH, ladies and gentleman. Stick your horns in this pile of shi...shimmering, yet dark and devastating band of slow killing of everything happy.


Do yourself a favour now, wipe away that seriously annoying smile of yours, start drowning in distress and listen to Doom metal with a capital D. No experimental shit or artsy hippie faggots, nor fake-ass guitar studio gimmicks or state-of-the-art drum machines, this is the real Deal.

Doom, Death and Despair.


Do a deed and dwell on...


















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Friday, April 02, 2010

The Biggest Surprise of the Year





Wow!!!
I just listened to KIUAS' new album, Lustdriven.

I don't know what to say.
I am speechless.


























P.S.

I was so damn ready to pass this album, just ignore it completely because of KIUAS' previous albums and the impression I've gotten of them. Then I was so darn ready to listen to it, once, and bash this piece of album like a little mouse under my hoof, but oh behold! This album just went straight into my Top 10 of best albums this year so far! How the hell that happened?!? I am not stoned, drunk or high or anyhthing. I am simply amazed...or full of Easter eggs...


Let's revise a bit. I was listening to LAIR OF THE MINOTAUR's new great great great album Evil Power when I decided to give one listen to KIUAS' new, fourth album, Lustdriven, since it had gotten excellent reviews already (release date was 31st of March). I thought, why not, but it's power metal. High, higher, the highest vocal squawks, imagenary dragons, big swords, majestic castles and more evil purple and red dragons, white wizards and hippy elves and big juicy muscles of warriors riding with more muscular horses and lots of guitar shredding with annoying keyboard solos á la Nintendo and Commondore 64. (I prefer Nintendo if you are wondering, fits better for my clumpsy hooves.)

At first this album may sound like a copy of any CHILDREN OF BODOM's albums with clean powerful signing, but of course inlcuding screams of yeah and uuh and aah, and combinations of those, you know, that typical "macho" bullshit. But more you listen to this album the more it reveals about itself and more happier and happier you get. The more changes you give this album the more secrets, shades and nuanses you are about to hear. This album is addictive. It's not like power metal is bad or anything, but I am not big fan of it at all, occasional sessions with DIO or HELLOWEEN and that's it. But here we are: fanatic and excited as kids in circus.

But what makes this album so special and separates Lustdriven from DIO and HELLOWEEN for example. First, this album most certainly appeals to fans of TAROT, KALMAH, SENTENCED (new era), AMORAL (with new singer Ari Koivunen), IRON MAIDEN, and of course traditional guitar shredding of heavy fucking metal! Then, it has this thrash vibe in it that makes the combination of all those mentioned above so much more crunchier and stomping like furious Scott Ian in action. And not only KIUAS is Finnish (always a bonus) but it is one of the best melodic metal albums of the year and easily their best album so far. It's exciting, surprising, joyful, full of skillful and masterful instrumental parts and orchestral additions in vein of NIGHTWISH and FINNTROLL's new album Nifelvind. Not to mention the vocalist Ilja Jalkanen who has gotten so much better and better during the excistence of KIUAS. Pro-stuff all the way, no matter how you listen to it.

KIUAS, also known of being a regural visitor in SAUNA OPEN AIR FESTIVAL in Finland, for obvious reasons (you non-Finns just check out what kiuas means in here), has easily done the best, the biggest, the most interesting and fresh new album of the year. Also produced by Janne Joutsenniemi of STONE and SUB-URBAN TRIBE and mixed by Mikko Karmila and you're sure to get the best sound quality from Finland at the moment!


You definitely need to hear this. Get this album one way or another and enjoy it, just like I'm gonna do now again...and again.

This is pure happy metal carnival.