Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
Easter's Sacrifice
In Finland threre's this little island called Åland. Not only it is familiar of its famous Taffel chips factory but it is the place many Finns go to cycle like maniacs and pig out delicious pancakes with strawberry jam (my fave too, by the way) during the short summer season we are given. Åland is a typical place to visit when you want sunshine, family vacations, swimming in ocean and people who only speak Swedish while they are still Finnish but still act like they don't know a single fucking word of Perkele language. Confused? Forget it for a while because last year something special happened in its tiny music scene, and even tinier metal music scene, when one young trio, consisting of Matti Jalava (guitar), Jonatan Johansson (guitar and vocals) and Mikko Josefsson (drums), recorded 666 horns-filled mini-CD.
Smoothy Strawberry Fields it ain't called, it is Grim Death Awaits. The band is VORUM (not to be confused with this great Polish hardcore-influenced metal aggression group, VERUM, with some smart-ass members in it). They were formerly known as HAUDANKAIVAJA (= grave digger) but that name was rejected quite fast. After 3 years of their existence, they reached the pinnacle of their careeer: attention of their first demo and a cover story made by one of the most famous Finnish (metal) music magazines in the recent years, INFERNO. Things were starting to look good for this band, oh yes indeed. And still does.
While we all are waiting for our udders and nipples, or whatever you want to keep fired up, hard for their first full-length, it's time to revive this mini-CD, which actually is a re-recorded version of their first demo under the name of HAUDANKAIVAJA, and use it in our Jesus-mocking black masses in the upcoming Easter. This mini-CD is a perfect soundtrack for that! After its intro track, They Are The Dead, hammering goes fast as bull in spring rut. It IS old and it IS school, like it's 1990 again. And that's the spirit!
The title track, Grim Death Awaits (video above), is a pure holocaust of fire-filled black soul death metal mutilation, similar to CONVULSE (still remember they were here?). But this time the tempo is lifted to more satanically spheres. And that's not all, the singer/guitarist Jonatan Johansson, barely reached his twenties, puke out some fine examples of death metal growls á la The Underworld. Tasty...
In about twenty minutes you get 8 seriously fast and powerful death burst that you cannot help but love, and want more. It was love at first sight for me. And the feeling like that is unforgettable. This mini-CD really smashes all the muscles and tendos (from your testicles), leaving only few crumbles of bones left of your entire body, just listen to Ritual Desecration or Obscure Rites for example!
If you like CARNAGE, ENTOMBED, GOREFEST, GRAVE, NIHILIST and REPULSION among others, you just cannot pass this chance VORUM gives you. Do as I say, and do as I do: up the horns!
It's grim metal!!!
It's death metal!!!
What are you awaiting for?!?
Get some VORUM in your Easter dinner table, make the feast tasty, and devour it all!
You know you want to.
Take it.
So true-moo.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Mookoma
All the non-Finns might not have hay of a clue what the word mokoma means and not that you should anyway, because it's simply a slightly amusing Finnish word, and just like the famous sisu, it's hard to translate literally, so I won't even go there. Do your own detective job and go to the places you always seem to wander: Poogle and Wikiturdia et al. I'm not the one to do it for you. The truth can be found there. It IS out there, in case you didn't already know it. But as a side note, it must be let known that mokoma is not something you need to just pass with sighs, shrughs and blah blah's. Even Donald Duck is a fan and uses the phrase mokoma daily. So, there you have it. MOKOMA, an established corporation from Finland, for your ears only.
You might already guessed it, MOKOMA, the band I am delving into, is a Finnish metal band singing, articulating and raging in Finnish, in language I only understand clearly. Even their fan-favourite cover of DEATH's Open Casket, Avoin Hauta, was sang completely in Finnish. But again, I must point out that don't you dare to jump off the horse yet, my dear farm fan, because these cowboys do have fine albums and medleys in their discography. Oh yes they most cuddingly do.
After being kicked out of the major label EMI after the turn of the millenium, also after being released two not-so-gratifying albums, Valu (1999) and Mokoma 120 Päivää (2001) (which both were re-released by the same label in 2005 when MOKOMA had already got same fame, fanbase, fortune and wider attention in media overall, by the way), they decided to set up their own record label, Sakara Records, run completely by them-five-selves there are, giving them the much desired full artistic freedom, so to say. And at the moment, Sakara Records is a very well-known label in here, not only because of MOKOMA, but also because of bands such as DIABLO, STAM1NA and RYTMIHÄIRIÖ. So, when it was time to release their third album, which I like to refer as their debut, Kurimus in 2003 it was quite a big shock in the Finnish music media. Their anthem Takatalvi (video below) was thought to be as a some sort of joke a while but when the rest of the songs from Kurimus was let out to the ears of livestock, it didn't take long enough for music enthusiastics like me to jump in this bandwagon. And still, up till today, Kurimus is a fine milestone both in their and Finnish metal music history.
As the metal music, especially metal sang in Finnish, was getting a lot of hype with a lot of bands in that time, biggest of them being Timo Rautiainen & TRIO NISKALAUKAUS, (nowadays only performing as solo), which soon was replaced by the surprising fame of KOTITEOLLISUUS (sometimes reminding of a horrible metal version of POPEDA *yaiks*), who actually are more close to pop 'n' rock nowadays than anything to metal. Of all those bands during the hip, hop and hype season of devastating, grey, and miserable Finnish metal music, VIIKATE is still fine example of how doing things right, keeping the dignity but also humour in their music, live shows and other releases.
But hoopey doo, let's not go into that right now, that era is gone and almost forgotten. Let's concentrate on MOKOMA and their new album, Sydänjuuret, which is fifth album done in more metal-based standars. Their second, Tämän Maailman Ruhtinaan Hovi (2004), and third, Kuoleman Laulukunnaat (2006), both showed a great way of improving their song writing where it was left in Kurimus. While Tämän Maailman Ruhtinaan Hovi added more varied tones of metal genres and also made a very big impact both among music critics (like me) and fans (like me), Kuoleman Laulukunnaat changed the disfigured face of MOKOMA a bit: it was time to tune down and go br00tal! They did it well but somehow that album is usually put behind the shadow of the first two great albums. Shame. But just like Kuoleman Laulukunnaat, also their fourth album, Luihin Ja Ytimiin (2007), is being considered as a lowpoint of their career. And THAT I back that up. Shame, again. Despite the low points, I am sure the new MOKOMA record will top the chart just like artists such as APULANTA and YÖ seem to do every-freaking-fucking-time they give a birth to a new calf of carols and let them out to the world.
So, here we are, coming back to the future and three years after the last full-length, it is time to bring MOKOMA out and alive again. The package, limited book edition (just like STAM1NA's new awesome album, Viimeinen Atlantis, or Jarkko Martikainen's solo album Toivo, are fine examples of doing album art work well and even taking it to the next level in Finlandia. Not going to the same route as TOOL's Aenima, Lateralus or even 10,000 Days, but similar to idea of vinyls: big cover, big pictures, comfortable hand feeling and especially something concrete to hold onto. Much credits goes to the inside drawings done by Ville Pirinen and design by Tero Salonen of TITANIK HELSINKI.And before anyone in there starts to bitch, I will say it for once in here: I am NOT the one to start moan and whine like a little bloody toad under a car wheel about these book packages not fitting in the shelf or CD-cases. On the contary: these get my eyes brighten up like a full sack of sperm.
The starting point for Sydänjuuret looks comforting but what about the main content then, becuse that is what usually matters the most. Well, this time I think it's better to go a little more detailed than usually, like SLAYER: Piece by Piece! So, let's get into the album with track-by-track look. Really cut this album into pieces, since it is not so easy to say with just few sentences, is it piss, bollocks or, as we use to say here, up the horns! Let's get deeper and deeper (not underground), shall we.
But before that, little facts straight: the concept of the last album was basically human vs. technology, mankind's evolution and what is really real in us. Where our base is as humanbeings among other animals and in animal kingdom overall. This time the main idea is to take a step into the cold history of Finland, but not being actually patriotic or simply stupid skin-head, Marko Annala tells in his lyrics his view of his home land, Finland and its bountiful gifts.
1. Sydänjuuret (4.23)
"Roots, bloody roots!", is it? Well, almost but at least the title refers to it and this song, as being the title song of the album, concentrates on the main idea of the album: our roots, our Finnish roots and heritage. What is that we have to understand of our past, why we should admire and respect our fathers and mother, our grandparents, our great grandparents and forefathers long before that, and also their heritage.
But musically, song isn't as courageous as you might expect. Sydänjuuret is a really basic opener for MOKOMA corporation. It is fast, pure metal song that also includes unfortunately the weakest link of the troop: Marko Annala's clean vocals hitting quite immediately after the song has kicked in. Okay, you may hate Billy Corgan's (THE SMASHING PUMPKINS) nasal whiny, korny and bitchy, feminine singing, but Marko Annala has his own way to deliver those compulsory clean vocals of this band. He sounds like any of the standard rock/pop singers expressing their heartaches in small karaoke clubs (too many in here by the way).
But as things turn to more faster and more crunchier, Marko Annala, this time fortunaltey, shows his other side: The Beast. Yes, he also can use his deeper, manly and cut-throat voice. And those last death metal gang screams sure gets my rumen feeling like there's something really interesting going on. But basically this song is nothing new in the world of MOKOMA. As much as the band hate it themselves, this is a safe (just listen to the radio-friendly chorus) and familiar (100 % MOKOMA verses) song by them.
Sydänjuuret is perhaps a new, quite proper addition to the upcoming tour and live set but that's all. Not an anthem, not a hit, not something that I'd get and fuck it all over.
2. Vastavirtaan (3.41)
Better that the first track? Well, better than your Mom's 6-month old toothbrush. You can hear same guitar-drive as in MUSE's most well-known songs, like Stockholm Syndrome for example, but then again it's not always a good thing, is it?
In this case it's not that big deal. This song is BIG, this song is a kick in your dry nuts. This song also has some potential live screamos for fans: "ROAR!", but don't get your cock too sweaty and all hard yet, since there is again nothing that impressive that they haven't already done before.
Okay, this song also has some punk-attitude in it, which seriously is something I like when it's added with a good portion with good metal riffs. It does work here in some places but the more I listen to this track, the more I tend to wait the other songs. But one big bonus have to be granted for the thunderous MESHUGGAH mayhem at the last part of the song. Do I need to say more about that? Up the horns...and moosh!
3. Ei kahta sanaa (ilman kolmatta) (2.33)
So, what do we have here then? A protest song? A funk song? A Superman tribute? No, no and no. It's a love song. Yep. A same kind of pop composition like made well-known by APULANTA for example, but only sung in vein of EPPU NORMAALI. A short easy song that most certainly goes in one ear and out the other. Even the solo before the two minute mark doesn't save this song.
It sure has to be a great love "anthem" for teenagers with some angst under their acne-filled faces and oh-so-rebellious souls. A song that has tender message but still sounding properly dangerous for young ears. They sure love this.
What about me then? "Hah-hah!", this song sure doesn't make me sing "Can you feel the love tonight...". I can write a review about really hard and really touching love songs sometimes but those have nothing to do with MOKOMA, ma'dear reader.
4. Vääräleuka (3.29)
While I still wonder, A LOT, why the previous song was even recorded and released, this one on the other hand is one vealfucking cowfucker! Up in your lousy ass! If a man with a voice like Marko Annala in this song would come to scream and call me back to barn, I'd bounce in as fast as possible, a tail between my legs.
Very cool, kick-ass song...and wait until you get to the part at 1.26 - 1.45! The second verse is like a hoof in your snotty snout! And if that doesn't make you hornbang then don't ever wonder why you listen to metal music at all, you cheap rat!
Also, there's a bit of church ashes in here, burned by black metal fan but only in tiny portions.
But you can still smell them...and boy they smell pleasent. *Mmmmm*...
5. Kristuksen ruumis ja pedon pää (5.33)
MOKOMA goes epic and proge, or much rather this is like Pauli Hanhiniemi goes metal. If you think if that's good or bad, go to YouTube (save yourself and DON'T go) and search for Kahvia ja tupakkaa, or whatever the title of that jingle is anyway, *sigh*.
Marko Annala's clean vocals alone makes my teeth grind again and look for something else to block my ears, mud perhaps? This song really tries to be epic and heartfel, probably passionate too, but if the lyrics include some horrbile choices from children poems added to more relationship-connected context, it just plainly sucks. Not that there's anything wrong using children poems or rhymes in song lyrics but this is an example how not to do it.
But what do I hear again between 4.16 and 4.38? Yes, our Swede friends: MESHUGGAH.
Eat that! Eat it all and cher it well! If only these weren't in such doses spreaded here, this song would show to the world that it has more testicels than just two miserable ones. And after that the song goes back to the same boring, plain and uninspiring route as it had begun. Can I sigh?
6. Niin hyville kuin pahoille (3.24)
Here we go again: typical thrashter-piece by MOKOMA with Marko Annala's ghastly trademark clean vocals right from the beginning of the song. Though, in the bridge there's NWOBHM-like guitar lead and harmony and puts a little smile in my furry face but sad thing that's the only joy of this otherwise poor and average song.
This could very well be a good song made by any of the unknow bands of Finnish metal scene but when you hear a song like this by MOKOMA you just can't help but be disappointed.
7. Rautaa rinnoista (4.04)
For once in this album we get something new and inspiring from the land of mookoma! And even the title of the song is pure metal: "Iron Udders", well almost. But it is clear that this song have been inspired, even if it really isn't, by no other than IRON MAIDEN and 80's heavy metal generally. Just listen to the chorus when the guitarists Kuisma Aalto and Tuomas Saikkonen unleashes some maidenisms from their strings. THAT is something that gets stuck between my horns. Hooray! And boy and cow, how Marko spits his lyrics!
At this point I must moo that both the guitarists are top players and praisworthy, they have always been, and I still love their playing and shredding in every album they've done. Nothing wrong in that section. No way-hay. But the thing in MOKOMA creation work is, who has written the main parts and riffs for the song: Marko Annala, Kuisma Aalto, Tuomo Saikkonen or the bassist, Santtu Hämäläinen.
Everyone of them has their own standard way of working and showing it in their songs but some of may fave tunes have been surprisingly done by Santtu "The Dreadcock" Hämäläinen! His love for grind/death metal can be heard always clearly, just like in Vääräleuka in the current album, and I DO LOVE IT!
If MOKOMA's latest efforts, this album included, would have more songs like these, I'd call to Marko Annala personally and said to him: I want you to milk me. Rautaa rinnoista is, first of all, very danceable (like most metal songs are anyway), and secondly, very uplifting but still hard lucky kick in your small, poor and lonely cunty nuts.
This song is one big bad spade of ace. Yeah!
8. Älä anna sille nimeä (4.23)
Are we still in the 80's? Apparently. The guitar and drums at the intro and VAN HALEN? Anyone else with me? Definitely. Then things get even more smoother, like in a cheesy, honey-filled ballad that only BON JOVI are cabable of bursting out.
This song is that one song MOKOMA always have to do in their album, done that since Kurimus. But the thing is again, this have been done better already, and most importanly, by themselves.
But wait, oh wait, oh wait, you little Hiawatha, wait you poor little child, until you get to the part at 2.45! The screams unleashed by Marko Annala is like straight from Chino Moreno's (DEFTONES) and black/exterme metal legend Ihsahn's (ex-EMPEROR) repertoire mixed together. Awesome, simply awesome but then things slow down to a vibe more familiar made by CMX.
9. Kalmannäkijä (4.43)
Punk-meets-attitude-meets-death metal-meets-punk-meets-black metal. And that is the most positive thing I've said about this album so far.
Dude (as there is only one reader in here anyway), this song is just like Rautaa rinnoista: something new and unique by MOKOMA team. I know it's hard to do something different, yet better than before when you go along with the same recipe for album after album but this song shows the power of MOKOMA. And the power of Marko Annala's love to Norway! And by that I am referring to DARKTHRONE my fellow penguin eaters and/or humpers.
While MOKOMA most definitely ain't AC/DC or MOTÖRHEAD, ci have to ask: "Can I have more songs like these, please?"
10. Hei hei Heinäkuu (3.54)
The title of this song, Bye bye July, should be changed to Bye bye Good Songs. Again, I repeat myself: been there, heard that.
Not only MOKOMA has done these kind of songs with more effort and with more eagerness and energy many times before, this is something I wasn't expecting to hear in this album and especially after the nine songs so far.
Though the lyrics are quite clever, since they could very well be written and copied to a sheet with few pictures of Finnish landscapes and then hand over to all the tourists travelling and visiting here, what to expect and what to get when you adore our beautiful nature. (This pharagraph was NOT sponsored by any of Finnihsh travel agencies, by the way.)
But anyway, let's just put it this way: I'd much rather spend my summer hours in vast green pastures listening to CATTLE DECAPITATION then this very song. So generous song that I won't even bother to type about it's boringness in here anymore.
11. Turhuuksien turhuus (3.44)
Am I listening to the same band as ten seconds ago? Yes, it seems so and how I wish this song would have been inspired the majority of the songs in here. Just like Sarvipää in the last record, Luihin Ja Ytimiin, among others, this song gets me speeding up my stinky poo-ish breath, my heart bouncing like a clown with a pogo-stick and waiting me to let out of the darn barn back to the field to go crazy like I'd have 666 mad cow diseases, in my left nipple.
And if in a song, just like in here, is a solo made famous by Jeff Hanneman and Kerry King of SLAYER (sorry, SLAYEEEEEEEEEEERRRRR!!!), then we sure have a hit, as hit as it gets for any of the metal fans creeping across the roads leading to ssouth of Heaven. What an ending for otherwise petty album.
But if you want to hear more good, evil, spiky thrash metal from Finland, set your hooves on your hip, wave those horns and get together with TUKKANUOTTA and SE, JOSTA EI PUHUTA.
You may be familiar with FAITH NO MORE's King for a Day, Fool for a Lifetime album, where every other song was either smooth or weird jazzy-like lullaby, while every other song was either a kick-ass rocker or dark twist in your mouth. Sydänjuuret have smilar stand-point, except the songs either sound like forced-written by the band and simply dull or on the other hand they are either moderate or awesome. King for a Day, Fool for a Lifetime succeded to do so much and also include so much styles into one album, and still managed to make it sound very fascinating and appealing, and it still is, after more than 15 years, and Jesus does it make my udder moist every single time I listen to it. Sydänjuuret on the other hand misses the one crucial point: the song writing taken to a next level in band's own yardstick.
The older MOKOMA has gotten, the less they farm those characteristic thrash riffs and I for one, miss them. I know I can hear them especially in their first two albums and MOKOMA have been trying to get the most done to shake the title of Finnish thrash metal band of their shoulders but doing these same basic metal songs album after album is also something worth to considering of shaking of either from shoulders or from their mindset.
While I know MOKOMA sure have done the best they can with this album and are very proud of the effort put for this album, like every artists should be, of course, and they most certainly won't care about my mooing in here, or as a matter of fact won't ever read this, but once again it has been proved: if an old doggie dog don't learn new tricks it becomes boring. MOKOMA either has to cut their long hairs and do the same move as PARADISE LOST or METALLICA did more than 10 years ago and write their One Second or Load, or either carry on doing the same shit like so far. If they choose the latter, then I must get something else to get my blood running in my udders. Like going back all the way to 2003 and enjoy my fix of MOKOMA's best track, Punainen Kukko (nevermind the stupid fan-made music video):
I am sure there a lot of new fans, who hear MOKOMA for the first time and get excited and hyped and follow them this summer in many of the festivals where they most likely are to play again and will like this album and think this is the best Finnish album ever but I for one will choose something else in my nightly barn dances then Sydänjuuret. Yes, that said, I am sure this album won't get a lot airplay after few weeks in here, in dark pitch-black corners of my warm barn metal barn. Just what have happened previously with MOKOMA and me. After the first excitement, I get bored with our relationship. I don't know if the problem is me or MOKO-Mans but I try to be honest with our relationship. While I might cheat sometimes (*Oops*) and hurdle to another ranges occasionally, I really wish MOKOMA bulls would show some new sides of themselves, and as soon as possible. This is starting to feel like a marriage nearing the end.
Now don't get me wrong here even it may seem like I am mocking MOKOMA's new album all the time like I mock your girlfriend, it's not completely true. This isn't as bad and horrible album as you think after reading this. I do like Sydänjuuret a bit, despite the negative approach of mine. And I've been very devoted fan, followed their every step from the first chords of Kurimus (though not being the "trve" fan, liking their first rehearsal tape the best) and sincerely waiting every new release they put out, and this wasn't an exception. I was expecting this a lot. Well, to be honest, maybe not as much as the debut of BARREN EARTH, released the same day, and also moo-worthly praised in here. You do remember that, right?
Not all in this album (and band) is bad, sad and un-rad, even thought you may still think so. First of all the sound (thanks to Miitri Aaltonen) and production (by both MOKOMA and Janne Saksa) is top-notch, as always in MOKOMA's records. Sydänjuuret sounds massive like my father's testicels...when he wasn't castrated yet. The sound they have is very pro, very high quality, just like my barn's milking machine's and the state-of-the-art automatic feeders. Another moo-worthy mention, besides guitar hero action all over the album, goes to Janne Hyrkäs, the well-oiled drum tractor. He seems to get better and better in every album. Truly a joy to listen to this bald guy at work. He has lift his bar everytime and still manages to sound so naturall and uncompromising. He could very well come to beat my bottocks any day.
Sure this is a fresh album for occasional digester of (metal) music. There is everything in Sydänjuuret for everybody, from daughter calf to father bull. It's a safe record for cattle in that sense, also having no curse words, as always the case with Marko Annala's lyrics. There's soft and mellow songs and also something for the youngsters who want their music as hard as hell. And for those youngsters album like this is a very good starting point to get into more extreme side of things. And in every song there is always little section(s) that add more good quality protein for the meal already available and it is something that stands out compared to the older songs.
But as always in world, there's a shitty side to everything and I always go back to basics, unless you are listening to bands like CONVULSE, who has been visiting my barn too, by the way. For more devoted fans of either/both MOKOMA and metal music in general, Sydänjuuret doesn't make the butter more ceramier than it alerady is, it still tastes the same, not exactly light version but the same ol', same ol'. Maybe some of the older MOKOMA fans already have abandoned this MOKOMA-leaden boat, and I know many of those ex-fans, truth be told, but no worries for captain M. Annala because as much as they lose their old fanbase, as much they get new loyal fans. Good for them, for fans and MOKOMA cruise.
But me, at the moment, cannot find the truth from this band. Sure, they are a welcomed visitor in my barn, anytime. No mistake about that but after this album I am not looking for MOKOMA when I want something jerky and beefy, especially after cudding this album non-stop for almost 24 hour. Sydänjuuret unfortunately doesn't tickle my udder as much I'd want it to be. Seems like MOKOMA is turning from mookoma to bookoma.
Download
Friday, March 26, 2010
Ov Wolf and Cow
Time to howl my dear milker friends! Just let it all out like it's a full moon again. C'mon, no one hears you... Okay, enough. I was wondering what would come out a crossbreed of a cow and a wolf. Perhaps a wolf with a weird, smelly and cetainly-make-you-to-laugh metabolism? Or a fucking cool looking carnivore cow? I honestly don't know but I do know that EVER CIRCLING WOLVES is more than your average everyday Joe can handle when meeting a real wild animal.
This band, once again from the vast metal music swards of Finland, is worth to bring out of the dark corners of a black barn after long and tiring winter season. As many of you very well know some pretty famous Finnish death/doom metal bands, like SWALLOW THE SUN, there are many many many bands still looking for their milky shot and their change to show to the whole wide world what they are cabable of delivering. EVER CIRCLING WOLVES is still without a record deal but I am sure that in no time, before I have time to milk my next gallon of creamy product, these guys from our capital, Helsinki, will write their names with blood (as every decent metal band should do, right?) to a some sort of contract. Hopefully a bloody good one!
Anyway, EVER CIRCLING WOLVES was originally just one-man band, mainly being the main project of singer/guitarist/song writer Henri Harnell, and it still is, other bands being melodic death metal band MEDICATED and death/thrash moonster MORG. In 2007 he wrote the first self-released demo tape Picturesque, Petrified, which can be bought and heard from their MySpace page. While the demo tape was completely done by himself (lyrics and songs written and performed by Henri Harnell, only drums tracked by Dani Nuutinen), it didn't take long for him to find other members in his band. In 2009 there were altogether four members: Henri Harnell handling guitar and vocal tasks, Otto Forsberg in other guitar, Arttu Kantola in bass and Niko Karjalainen playing drums. These four young musicians recorded their debut album The Silence from Your Room the same year.
Now let me tell you one thing: if you ever come to a situation, like you most likely will be in next few months, where you get bored of the constant sunshine, (butter)flies around your tasty ass and happiness around your fellow ruminants, then look..or listen to no further because the cure is right here! And it feels so much better than your daily enema. The Silence from Your Room will help you fight against fake smiles, wannabe-huggers and kissers and way too energetic friends of yours. All you need to do is get back from the field to your own lovely and warm barn, hit all the lights off immediately, creep under your bed, close your eyes, settle like a foetus and then simply let the lingering timbres from A Desperate Frolic to Shai-Hulud (The Creator Worm) flow into your ears. I guarantee you won't be the happiest moo-(wo)man after that. But it's not like you wanted to be anyway. So moo-hoo.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
No Holds Barred!
While many of you crazy "trve" metal meat heads (me included) surely have been anticipating very anxiously the very first release of TRIPTYKON (Tom Gabriel Fischer aka Tom G. Warrior's, the founder of CELTIC FROST, new band), Eparistera Daimones, like the second coming of the Satan himself (and his little friend...), it was solely the BARREN EARTH’s debut album, Curse of the Red River, and its release date (24.3.2010) that got my juicy snow white milk bursting out of my udder 200 mph and making it the most fattest cream, shining like gold in the sunhine, you’ve ever seen, tasted or snorted. That means it is good, you product of fat-phobiazed modern generation!
Curse of the Red River is The Reason there is again another useless music blog (that no one even will read *sigh*) in the world wide web of the intershitweb and wannabe-music hipsters and other kooky music critics that don’t know shit! But fortunately I do know. I know when I smell shit near me or taste shit in my slimy crooked mouth. And now, bulls and milky cow friends of mine, we are talking about something else than my own brown product. BARREN EARTH's debut album is far far far away from the green grass lands of shit piles. No fear of slipping down and cursing afterwards or falling down and then stand up just to notice you are covered all over, from hoof to tongue, of this not-so-magical waste of the black hole. This album IS Finnish Metal like it sould be presented to other countries in this very year! To some listeners it might paint effects and landscapes of that soft brown toxic ice cream (you know what I am talking about) but those music fans have nothing to do with good metallic taste or brain capacity to separate its own feces of another fellow creature.
Am I talking about you? No. You wouldn't be reading this anymore, if those mutants are even cabable of reading after all. Who knows. But before I go on, there's one particular point that needs to be made clear right now in my very first post. Besides BARREN EARTH, (remember to look evil, grin a bit like a little devil you are and show those horns every time you say those magic words BARREN and EARTH, okay?) there is one reason more for launching this blog ie. metal barn. This one fuckin' Swede Bastard (but lovely, no matter where you look at it) has done good work on that blog for several years and (s)he’s the one you should thank for this am-mooo-sing blog name. Also be sure to check out this great site, where you can get all the latest goodies and old classics in no time: Angrychairs Redux.
But I sure ain't here to talk about Swedish people, my love for them, kötbullors, my love for them too, or other unusual habits of our (damn) neighbour country citizens, let the Bastard’s blog do that. Clear? And by the way, (s)he sure does a damn fine job for making Swedes looking even more stupid than they already are. Thank you, you Honey. I love you.
Anyway, enough of bull…err, sorry, cowshit, time to move on and finally go to the point: MUUUUU-SIC. This blog is mostly concentrating on music and trying to provide high quality releases as much as possible to your rotten and greedy ears. I’m not saying how often though, but the thing that matters here is as simple as it gets: Metal Music…up in your ass!!! So, here we go.
Up the horns, rumens and udders!
BARREN EARTH (Homepage and MySpace) is one of those so called super groups you’ve heard of thousands and thousands of time before. You sure know BLOODBATH for example. BARREN EARTH ain’t an exception to the rule. It's a band of many talented and gifted Finnish musicians making the most high standard metal music at the moment. Members from bands such as ALGHAZANTH, AMORPHIS, ARTHEMESIA, CHAOSBREED, ENTER MY SILENCE, FUNERIS NOCTURNUM, KREATOR, MANNHAI, MOONSORROW, RYTMIHÄIRIÖ, SWALLOW THE SUN, WALTARI makes it possible to proudly announce that it's not far fetched that THESE, and I mean especially these, guys have more than some skills (more than figuring out which and what is or isn't their own feces) and experience under their old retro bullet belts and far gone corpse paints.
In fall 2009 they released a four-song EP, Our Twilight, and six months later it was time to put out the very first full-length, Curse of the Red River. As there is obvious influences from 70’s throughout the album from bands as JETHRO TULL and The Mighty PINK FLOYD, it is the 90’s and one classic metal band and their albums from that golden era that draws the most attention in here: AMOPRPHIS. This album is like a mix of both Tales from the Thousand Lakes and Elegy updated to this year with more muscular sound and great mix. This album is the way those two albums would exactly sound like today! Job done good for once!
Not only Kasper Mårtenson’s keyboards, especially in his solo spots, take you straight back to 1994 and to Tales from the Thousand Lakes' atmosphere but it is Mikko Kotamäki’s vocals that also revives some great memories of those two gems from Finnish metal history. Mikko Kotamäki does an astonishing job delivering both dark, deep and yes, those demonic vocals that only Mikael Åkerfeldt, the mastermind behind the one of the best death/proge/experimental metal bands in the last 10 years besides BLOODBATH: OPETH, also known of collaboration with Travis Smith, who, surprise, surprise, has also done the cover for Curse of the Red River! But as Mikko Kotamäki knee-deeply growls and creeps in to your head (since there is a lot of room to be filled anyway) he also uses the other extreme of his spectacular voice: tenderness and clear beautiful singing…just like Pasi Koskinen did in Elegy back in 1996.
But the hyping doesn’t end there. No way! What also needs to be praised is the magnificent guitar work by both Janne Perttilä and that monster soloist Sami Yli-Sirniö. If only solos like these would have been in AMORPHIS’ albums back then, they would need to be in everybody’s home stereos weekly, if not daily. Those albums would have been like the audio version of our epic tale Kalevala.
From the poetic pages of Kalevala, it's natural to do a jump to another epic Finnish product: KINGSTON WALL. If you have ever heard or was lucky enough to able to witness live these guys (RIP Petri Walli), you know that not only they did magnificent work producing some of the finest proge rock in the world, but also did an amazing job playing it to the live audience. I am not saying that BARREN EARTH should, or not that they are even able to, be compared to them, but besides the influences mentioned earlier, you can also sense the spirit of KINGSTON WALL too in a very good sense, not ripping off, but spicing their own soup with a touch from KINGSTON WALL's unique recipe. Again: job diddley diddley done good!
I know you are bored to read this already so time to give you a little hint: listen to this album. Enjoy this album because there's no other choice for you once you've tucked your earplugs in your filthy ears or blasted it in your home or car stereos and pressed play.
I sure do love Curse of the Red River like I love to chive in the field of green fresh moist morning hay and devour it in four seconds.
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